BLOG MOVED…

I recently moved the RockStar Way™ blog to my own web host for greater security, flexibility, and reach.

The new address of this blog = http://tomleu.com/blog/

All future writings will be posted there.

Please update subscription, bookmarks, and visit often!

Thanks,

Tom \,,/

storytelling 101

I loved this presentation… for its message AND its energy! I got it from a very cool site called Slideshare.net. And since we are all in the “presentation” business both personally and professionally at times, it’s worth the 3½ minute-watch.

Like I preach incessantly in my classrooms…

Communication is King!

Get great at it, in all ways, always.

©2008 Tom Leu

why people change

According to the classic, best-selling self-help book, I’m OK-You’re OK, there are 3 things that make people want to change: pain, boredom, and belief.

1. They hurt sufficiently.
Pain is the great motivator. Unfortunatley, it’s only when pain is so very high that real change becomes possible. Why change if things are going well, or appear to be going well? Pain avoidance is arguably stronger than pleasure seeking.

2. Boredom.
Don’t confuse resting with being idle. Resting, without restlessness, is good. Idleness is dangerous. Left with too much time to do too much thinking leads too many people down too many wrong roads. Find something positive and healthy to do with that energy.

3. The sudden discovery that they can.
Once the realization that anything is possible comes into existence, action soon follows and real change begins to take place. Whatever you believe, so it will be. Therefore we have to believe that we can more than we can’t.

No one particularly likes to make changes, edits, or take do-overs in life. But people will change when they begin to believe it’s their idea to do so. Changes – of course - aren’t optional, they’re inevitable. It’s not a matter of if, but when.

©2008 Tom Leu

what is the RockStar Way™?

40 second video to answer this FAQ…

©2008 Tom Leu

middle-age can make you miserable?

I first heard the following from John Tesh’s radio show, Intelligence for Your Life, and then went to www.tesh.com for the text:

Middle-age can make you miserable!  If you’re down in the dumps, don’t blame your job, your spouse or your kids.  According to USA Today, a new study finds that middle-age slump peaks around age 44 for both men and women.  Researchers from the United States and Great Britain identified the same slump in nearly all of the 80 countries they studied, from Albania to Zimbabwe.  They analyzed the anxiety levels, mental health and well-being of 2 million people around the world and a universal pattern emerged.  For most folks, life begins cheerful, turns difficult in middle-age, and then returns to the joy of youth in the golden years.

The researchers say that if you are in your 40’s and finding life tough, take comfort in knowing you’re not alone.  It happens to men and women, single and married people, rich and poor, and people with and without children.  While they don’t have concrete answers for why people aren’t happy in their 40’s, the experts do have some ideas.  Andrew Oswald is the co-author of the study, and he says in our 40’s, we learned to put the brakes on our “unattainable” goals.  We have to lower our expectations and face reality, and figure out what we can actually hope to achieve.  In other words – we wake up to the fact that we won’t realize all of our dreams.

For most, the downturn doesn’t come on all at once, it happens gradually.  In their 50’s, people come out of this low period. They begin to value the years they’ve got left, and they embrace life more.  Here’s more good news: once you hit age 70, if you’re still physically fit, you’re likely to be as happy and mentally healthy as a 20 year old!  Now that’s something to look forward to.

Interesting article. Here’s the take-away for me however…

Whether you’re in your 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s or beyond - giving up on your dreams will make you old.  The world tells you, and wants you to believe that you cannot, that you shouldn’t, that you ought not to.  Don’t listen to the naysayers. Distance yourself from dream stealers.  Age is irrelevant to contribution. As long as you have the passion and an attitude that takes action toward your dreams, anything is possible.  The age-old aphorism states that if you don’t try you’ve already failed.  Keep the faith. It ‘aint over until you decide it is.

©2008 Tom Leu

suite oblivion slideshow

From 1997-2003, I played in a rock band with many great musicians from my hometown, Rockford, IL. The band was originally called Patron Smith, but we eventually changed our name to Suite Oblivion in 1999. Suite O’ released one album entitled Shine in 2001, and did very well playing all over northern Illinois and southern Wisconsin for many years.

I’ve been threatening to produce something like this for a long time… and now, finally have. This video/slideshow is set to a medley of original music from the Shine album and features the classic Suite O’ line-up of Mitch Brechon (vocals/guitar), Jay Mock (lead guitar/vocals), Christian White (bass/vocals), and me (drums/keys)… circa 2000-2003. Love those guys!

I’d like to thank ALL the great musicians who have contributed their talents to this band over the years!

www.SuiteO.com - Turn it up!

(A big thanks also to Dan Stogsdill for taking many of the photos used in this video and for slugging it out with us all those years!)

©2008 Tom Leu

8 Myths About Relationships

Since we all have been, are currently, or will be in a “relationship,” the following excerpt from Morrie and Arleah Shechtman’s book Love in the Present Tense, is refreshingly invaluable. I had the great privilege of working with, and being coached/mentored by the Shechtmans over an 18 month period several years ago when I worked as an Operations Director for a Fortune 200 company in Cedar Rapids, IA. My experiences with them and their teachings have enhanced my personal and professional life significantly throughout the years. In their trademark “caring for” vs. “caretaking” style, the Shechtmans continue to tell it like it is…

Across the country, marriages are in trouble. The divorce rate remains high and more and more people are joining the ranks of the walking wounded, desperately looking for some way to hold their families together. In their groundbreaking book, Love in the Present Tense: How to Have a High Intimacy, Low Maintenance Marriage, relationship experts Morrie and Arleah Shechtman challenge the conventional wisdom that has held our collective consciousness hostage since the inception of the pop therapy phenomenon.

The Shechtmans debunk eight myths surrounding marriage and offer contrasting realities:

1. Myth: Opposites attract. A couple, in their differences, complements each other.
   Reality: Great relationships require identical core values.
2. Myth: Love will carry you through the hard times in a relationship.
   Reality: It is shared values that pull you through a crisis.
3. Myth: You need to work on your marriage if you want it to be good.
   Reality: Relationships don’t have problems; people do.
4. Myth: Selflessness and giving to others builds the best relationships.
   Reality: Clear limits and boundaries build mutual respect and lasting relationships.
5. Myth: Unconditional acceptance of your partner is the foundation of a good marriage.
   Reality: If you don’t make demands on your partner, then you don’t really care.
6. Myth: Frequent conflicts are a sign that a marriage is in trouble.
   Reality: Your willingness to engage in conflict determines the depth and quality of your relationship.
7. Myth: Spending lots of time together is very important.
   Reality: The best relationships are low maintenance/high intimacy.
8. Myth: Trusting your partner is essential to a good relationship.
   Reality: It is trusting yourself that is essential.

If you’re intrigued, BUY the book. For more information about Morrie and Arleah Shecthman’s work, visit www.morrieandarleah.com

©2008 Tom Leu

The Top 20 Albums of All Time

The Top 20 Albums of All Time…????

Who says? And how would one even begin to come up with such a list that isn’t purely preference-driven?

Well check this out… I liked this guy’s approach to a supposed “best of” list.

The Top 20 Albums of All Time (For Real)

Posted Mon Jul 28, 2008 3:21pm PDT by Robert of the Radish in The Y! Music Playlist Blog

“I completely understand the frustration of “best of lists”, and I can assure you that I read hundreds of comments here on the Yahoo Music blogs whenever we post one. Many times our “best album” lists generate thousands of comments. And although many of the remarks are ridiculous, many are valid in a subjective sort of way.

For this playlist I wanted to find the true top 20 albums once and for all, but to do this I needed to clear my mind of all opinion and approach it as a science. My own personal taste did not influence this list in any way. In fact, I would have made many different choices, but the time I put into collecting the data and crunching the numbers leaves no doubt in my mind that this is the most accurate top 20 album list in existence.”

To begin with I had to set the parameters, and I have set them as follows… CLICK HERE for more.

©2008 Tom Leu

Motley ‘You Know Who’

Motley Crue – Saints of Los Angeles

Still relevant since forming in early 1981, Motley Crue continue to defy the odds and the critics by not only surviving, but thriving. With the release of their first full-length album in a decade, Saints of Los Angeles, the original line-up of Nikki Sixx, Mick Mars, Vince Neil, and Tommy Lee aren’t reinventing the wheel as much as reviving a genre. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, Motley Crue is securely seated at the top of the 80’s hair-rock heap. Their latest music is reminiscent of the raunch that defined the era of big hair, big riffs, and big decadence. As this genre continues its revival, Motley Crue are again leading the way with their brand of anti-establishment rock and roll that’s now being consumed by a new generation of fans whose parents grew up on this band. In an era of pre-fab pop and bouncing beats, Motley Crue’s Saints of Los Angeles is a welcome throw-back for those who appreciate artists that write their own songs and play their own instruments. Rock and roll is about fun and freedom. It represents rebellion and individuality. It’s supposed to make you feel good and provide a release. And despite getting on in years, the Crue and their music, continue to do just that. BUY it here.

For an excellent and concise history of Motley Crue, check out the post on the very cool Sleaze Roxx website.

©2008 Tom Leu

things not to care about

I love this post by Dan Willis. → “Things I Don’t Care About”

I agree with a lot of it too; especially #2, #10, and #14. 

I always appreciate people who are so direct that it’s mildly uncomfortable for everyone else… makes you think.

©2008 Tom Leu