the RockStar Way™

LIFESTYLE INITIATIVE TRAINING

secrets

Most people carry around secrets; some dark, some not. These are powerful things that we don’t want others to ever know about, but often wish to get off our chest. Things we may go to great lengths to hide that can end up haunting us.

We’re often attracted to the idea of something, rather than the actuality of it. Secrets are concealed because of their powerful appeal and allure, despite one’s conscience . The attraction is often great enough to overcome the resulting feelings of guilt or moral dilemmas present to engage in the activity anyway. It’s a twisted proposition that comes overflowing with mixed emotions. It’s a no-win situation; a situation in which everyone involved eventually loses whether they realize it or not. The resulting pain and suffering is often chronic and profound.

We’re taught to learn from our mistakes. But some mistakes may carry hard lessons that no one should ever have to learn if they can be avoided. The innocence of ignorance may very well be the bliss and serenity we’re all searching for. Maybe some things are best left undiscovered. Maybe…

©2008 Tom Leu

October 31, 2008 - Posted by paragontom | Personal Development | , , | 2 Comments

2 Comments »

  1. My secret is that I still listen to the Bangles sometimes, when nobody else is around. Don’t tell anyone.

    Seriously though, great post. It definitely is a no-win situation when you feel like you have to choose between shouldering the burden of carrying around a secret, or taking action that could have dire consequences. And if I’m reading this correctly, you’re saying that doing nothing is the lesser of two evils? Ignorance is bliss? Really? I’m surprised by that. It does seem a bit contrary to your philosophy of personal growth and development.
    One of the items in your “The Last Command” blog on your MySpace is: “Take calculated risks”. So when you’re going about making a decision, weighing the potential risks vs. potential rewards, where’s the tipping point? What factors determine when taking a potentially risky action is preferrable to languishing in stagnation, being “haunted”?
    You’ve taught me to recognize and question my assumptions. Therefore, I don’t know that I could adopt the attitude that everyone always loses in any given situation. You yourself have said, “Things are rarely black and white, all or nothing. Most things in life reside in the “grey areas;” on the fringes, in between.” There are no absolutes. Maybe it’s naïve to hope that you’ll be the exception to the rule, but how does that saying go? If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten and if you want something you’ve never had before, you have to do something you’ve never done before.
    There is no doubt that facing a moral dilema will produce inner turmoil. But what is the source of that guilt and hesitation? If the mixed emotions are being produced by the belief that we must adhere to the expectations of others, then wouldn’t freeing ourselves from those expectations eliminate the dilema and subsequent tumultuous pain and suffering? Again, you have said, “The world tells you, and wants you to believe that you cannot, that you shouldn’t, that you ought not to. Don’t listen to the naysayers. Distance yourself from dream stealers.” The world is as you are, not as it is.

    Sara

    Comment by Sara | November 2, 2008

  2. I take the position that not everything can, nor needs to be known. Sometimes when we press for “answers” the truth doesn’t always set us free. It’s not that ignorance is bliss; but rather that the recognition and understanding of – knowing that we do not necessarily need to know – is what truly places us in a position of strength, not weakness.

    Identification of the “tipping point” with regard to exposing secrets, taking action, or remaining still is where the “rock star” meets the road. The answers will vary depending on each individual, their situation, circumstances, and experience. The discernment necessary to make the best decision, at the best time, for the best of all involved, is what ultimately defines one’s “success.”

    Comment by Tom Leu | November 3, 2008


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