secrets

Most people carry around secrets; some dark, some not. These are powerful things that we don’t want others to ever know about, but often wish to get off our chest. Things we may go to great lengths to hide that can end up haunting us.

We’re often attracted to the idea of something, rather than the actuality of it. Secrets are concealed because of their powerful appeal and allure, despite one’s conscience . The attraction is often great enough to overcome the resulting feelings of guilt or moral dilemmas present to engage in the activity anyway. It’s a twisted proposition that comes overflowing with mixed emotions. It’s a no-win situation; a situation in which everyone involved eventually loses whether they realize it or not. The resulting pain and suffering is often chronic and profound.

We’re taught to learn from our mistakes. But some mistakes may carry hard lessons that no one should ever have to learn if they can be avoided. The innocence of ignorance may very well be the bliss and serenity we’re all searching for. Maybe some things are best left undiscovered. Maybe…

©2008 Tom Leu

words

In the beginning of most relationships, the words spoken are very significant. We hang on them, review them, and need them. The relationship is defined by them. Over time however, the words become less important than each other’s actions. It becomes evident that what is done, not necessarily what is said, that’s most important.

©2008 Tom Leu

storytelling 101

I loved this presentation… for its message AND its energy! I got it from a very cool site called Slideshare.net. And since we are all in the “presentation” business both personally and professionally at times, it’s worth the 3½ minute-watch.

Like I preach incessantly in my classrooms…

Communication is King!

Get great at it, in all ways, always.

©2008 Tom Leu

common sense?

I often hear people critcize or dismiss other’s ideas by labeling it as “common sense.” Common sense indicates that the majority of people intuitively understand and already “know” the information that is being presented. And this fact of knowing indirectly asserts that the information is somehow less valuable because it’s “common” and therefore a commodity. So labeling something as common sense carries a deragatory connotation… but herein lies the irony:

Common Sense does not equal Uncommon Success…

Knowing and doing are two completely different things. Yes, it’s true that we all know many, many things. We may intellectually understand and often agree on a vast amount of knowledge about ourselves and about our world. But equally true is that most people do not DO what they know. This is not a judgement, but a statistical reality. Generally speaking, most people are not successful at applying the knowledge that is available to them. Proclaiming something as common sense seems to become a defense mechanism people employ to manage their disappointment around their lack of productive activity. Uncommon success in any area of life requires taking common sense on the road. It’s not enough to know something or to simply talk about something. You have to do something and make things happen for the common to become uncommon.

Smoking is an obvious, yet powerful example. No one will argue that smoking is hazardous for the health of the human body. It causes disease and people die from it everyday. We can call this common sense because everybody knows it. Yet millions still smoke despite this common knowledge. So what do we call common sense that is unacted upon? The norm… unfortunately. History proves that the most profound wisdom and universal truths are simple to understand but difficult to implement. Identifying something as common sense then is the beginning, not the end.

“Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age 18.” – Albert Einstein

Of course what some call common sense, others call crazy. It becomes a matter of perspective based on one’s social, cultural and educational background. So maybe we could benefit from re-learning some universal “common sense” principles that affect our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. But more importantly, maybe we can then learn to apply some of this knowledge and information to improve not only our own lives, but the lives of those around us. Sounds like common sense to me…

©2008 Tom Leu

silent listening

Do you realize that the words SILENT and LISTEN are spelled with the exact same letters? I didn’t until it was pointed out to me… so what?

Clean the ego out of the ears.

True listening cannot exist without the listener being silent… not only verbally silent, but mentally silent. Not speaking is much easier than turning the mind off momentarily and really paying attention to someone else. Real listening does not include planning what you are going to say next. Easier said than done.

Authentic listening is active and requires effort, empathy, focus and concentration toward another. To truly hear someone, we have to be able to be still and really listen to them. We need to lean into what they are saying and attempt to understand what they are really trying to tell us. This takes practice but the rewards are huge.

Did you hear me?

©2008 Tom Leu

Why is it…? #8

…that people will celebrate someone’s assertions of individuality and independence verbally, but then often condemn and sabotage it behaviorally?

©2008 Tom Leu

why people change

According to the classic, best-selling self-help book, I’m OK-You’re OK, there are 3 things that make people want to change: pain, boredom, and belief.

1. They hurt sufficiently.
Pain is the great motivator. Unfortunatley, it’s only when pain is so very high that real change becomes possible. Why change if things are going well, or appear to be going well? Pain avoidance is arguably stronger than pleasure seeking.

2. Boredom.
Don’t confuse resting with being idle. Resting, without restlessness, is good. Idleness is dangerous. Left with too much time to do too much thinking leads too many people down too many wrong roads. Find something positive and healthy to do with that energy.

3. The sudden discovery that they can.
Once the realization that anything is possible comes into existence, action soon follows and real change begins to take place. Whatever you believe, so it will be. Therefore we have to believe that we can more than we can’t.

No one particularly likes to make changes, edits, or take do-overs in life. But people will change when they begin to believe it’s their idea to do so. Changes – of course - aren’t optional, they’re inevitable. It’s not a matter of if, but when.

©2008 Tom Leu

what is the RockStar Way™?

40 second video to answer this FAQ…

©2008 Tom Leu