knowledge-wisdom

Knowledge is a collection of facts acquired over time. Knowledge often includes a narrowing of one’s perspective coupled with an overestimated illusion of understanding. This is constricting.

Wisdom is a collection of experiences earned over time. Wisdom is a widening of one’s perspective and often includes a realization of that which we still do not know. This is freeing.

Knowledge may pay the bills, but wisdom affords us life.

©2008 Tom Leu

the 5 challenges

Finding balance seems to be life’s biggest challenge. The following are five specific challenges or conflicts that most of us face. They can be managed and balanced given the proper perspective, honest evaluation, and ongoing attention. So where are you on the continuums?

1) True Identity vs. Projected Image
Who you really are vs. who you lead others to believe you are.

2) Aspirations vs. Actions
Intellectually knowing what you want to do vs. physically doing what it takes. Really knowing what to do isn’t the same as actually doing what you know.

3) Pursuing Passions vs. Resigning to Responsibility
Doing what you love to thrive vs. doing what you have to do to survive. Wanting to get away, recover, discover and reflect vs. having to stay the course, punch-in & persevere. We all battle the desire to check out with the need to keep up.

4) Spirituality vs. Religion
Freedom pursuing truth vs. fear of not towing the line. Escaping external condemnation and guilt by moving toward internal celebration and guidance.

5) Contribution vs. Acquisition
Leaving a lasting legacy vs. looking out for number one.

As you consider where you fall on these continuums, remember that the goal is progress, not perfection. The joy ought to be the journey, not the final destination.

©2008 Tom Leu

the longest journey

True contentment and serenity are matters of the heart. We cannot think them into place; try as we might. Everyone needs to make some changes from time to time to cure what ails us. Genuine change begins in the mind but has to travel down to the heart to have lasting impact. The behavior follows the thinking. It’s been said that the longest journey is the 18 inches between the head and the heart. Intellectual knowledge turned into emotional wisdom is where real progress and breakthroughs are made. It’s not enough to know it; we have to experience it for it to be real to us.

©2008 Tom Leu

contribute

How are YOU treating the world today?

Are you giving more than you’re taking?

Are you waiting for something to happen, or working toward making things happen?

Jealousy is the fear of losing what you already have.

Envy is the fear of not getting what you think you really want.

Neither contributes.

We don’t always know when we are going to make a difference to another person.

Pay attention.

Our purpose is to create and contribute, not to compete.

Give more than you take and leave a legacy.

©2008 Tom Leu

top 10 time-tested truths

Given enough of it, time will always bring things into perspective…

It’s time to get wise and realize that:

1. People are going to let you down.

2. Your expectations aren’t always going to be met.

3. You won’t understand the “how” and “why” of everything.

4. Things aren’t always fair and won’t always make sense to you.

5. There will always be critics.

6. Some people are very territorial and insecure.

7. Your skills and qualifications may be viewed as a threat.

8. Your good intentions may be misunderstood.

9. Most worthwhile things don’t come fast and easy.

10. Hard work and perseverance in the face of adversity and obstacles are the only remedies for disappointment.

©2008 Tom Leu

8 Myths About Relationships

Since we all have been, are currently, or will be in a “relationship,” the following excerpt from Morrie and Arleah Shechtman’s book Love in the Present Tense, is refreshingly invaluable. I had the great privilege of working with, and being coached/mentored by the Shechtmans over an 18 month period several years ago when I worked as an Operations Director for a Fortune 200 company in Cedar Rapids, IA. My experiences with them and their teachings have enhanced my personal and professional life significantly throughout the years. In their trademark “caring for” vs. “caretaking” style, the Shechtmans continue to tell it like it is…

Across the country, marriages are in trouble. The divorce rate remains high and more and more people are joining the ranks of the walking wounded, desperately looking for some way to hold their families together. In their groundbreaking book, Love in the Present Tense: How to Have a High Intimacy, Low Maintenance Marriage, relationship experts Morrie and Arleah Shechtman challenge the conventional wisdom that has held our collective consciousness hostage since the inception of the pop therapy phenomenon.

The Shechtmans debunk eight myths surrounding marriage and offer contrasting realities:

1. Myth: Opposites attract. A couple, in their differences, complements each other.
   Reality: Great relationships require identical core values.
2. Myth: Love will carry you through the hard times in a relationship.
   Reality: It is shared values that pull you through a crisis.
3. Myth: You need to work on your marriage if you want it to be good.
   Reality: Relationships don’t have problems; people do.
4. Myth: Selflessness and giving to others builds the best relationships.
   Reality: Clear limits and boundaries build mutual respect and lasting relationships.
5. Myth: Unconditional acceptance of your partner is the foundation of a good marriage.
   Reality: If you don’t make demands on your partner, then you don’t really care.
6. Myth: Frequent conflicts are a sign that a marriage is in trouble.
   Reality: Your willingness to engage in conflict determines the depth and quality of your relationship.
7. Myth: Spending lots of time together is very important.
   Reality: The best relationships are low maintenance/high intimacy.
8. Myth: Trusting your partner is essential to a good relationship.
   Reality: It is trusting yourself that is essential.

If you’re intrigued, BUY the book. For more information about Morrie and Arleah Shecthman’s work, visit www.morrieandarleah.com

©2008 Tom Leu

the suite oblivion

The “suite oblivion” is a metaphorical place or a state-of-mind that most of us go to and reside in at various times in our lives. Oblivion is defined as the state of being disregarded or forgotten; total forgetfulness. Simply put, we often “forget” who we are and why we are really here. We then digress by consciously or unconsciously distracting ourselves with artificial realities, superficial relationships, or misguided endeavors.

We need to be reminded that each of us has a purpose and a reason for being. But the chaos of life often clouds our view of this purpose. While we can’t see exactly where we’re going, we live and work and interact day-to-day in our many unsatisfying suites of oblivion until we reach a threshold and decide to make some changes. Great pain usually precedes significant change. But unlike the “Hotel California”… you can check out any time you like AND you can always leave the suite oblivion if you choose. It starts with awareness, moves to a decision, and then has to be followed by deliberate action to truly escape.

©2008 Tom Leu

working out

I think, for a lot of us, working out or exercising and embarking on ”spiritual” pursuits are procrastinated similarly. It usually goes something like this: 1) you know you ought to, 2) you realize it’s good for you, 3) you often don’t feel like it, 4) but when you do, you’re always glad that you did.

©2008 Tom Leu